Reflections.

    Wow, less than 1 week to go for actual study abroad. I know I have many more adventures ahead of me in the next 5 weeks, but it still makes me sad that the core of my being here--studying abroad and being in a program--is rapidly coming to an end.
    I feel sort of how I felt on the Mykonos ferry ride home--like I want to freeze frame time right now. I don't want to leave and although there are things I miss about home and many things to look forward to, I can't shake the feeling that my time here is not done.
    And maybe it's not. I know I will be back. I know my journey to fluency is not over and I know that this is a place that has really made me happy and fulfilled. Sure, there are things that I wanted to happen that didnt--but maybe the sappy dream of going on a date with an attractive French man that carries either a messenger bag or a Longchamp Homme bag, walking by the Grand Théàtre with him and then walking along the river, sharing a bottle of wine and laughing was a bit lofty.
     And there are plenty of things that did happen that I wanted. I gained a certain level of fluency, I did well in classes, I have a French friends, I integrated into my host family, and maybe most importantly, I figured out what some of my passions are and how to turn that into a career path (hello world development!).
     And of course, there were things that happened I didn't expect--not traveling as much as I thought I was going to, but really getting to know Bordeaux, finding a group of California friends that I would not be able to live without, and much more.
    I gotta say, I learned a ton this trip (academically and socially) that I want to hold on to. Things like the language, the knowledge of a good bottle of wine, closeness with my host family, french bread and wine, who I am and what I don't want to hold onto about my personality, the essential qualities that a guy has to have. I learned life--and an entirely different one at that. One of groundlessness, of fear, of excitement, and of anxiety. A life I knew I wanted to find, and a life I have lived.
    So thank you, Bordeaux, thank you France, thank you experience.
    But what am I doing? I still have 3 days here--gotta life it up and squeeze it for all it's worth. What up sunrise over the river?